A unique experience? Declaw meatheads warning.

Recently I’ve been Googling, browsing and searching out vet clinic that advertise declawing, and there are plenty. But one particularly nasty one I’ve come across is in Arizona. I’m not naming it for fear someone takes their cat there but suffice to say it’s website is sickening (contact me for the link) the head honchos seem to be two women with loads of credentials but not much compassion if this is anything to go by and they are ably(? ) assisted by three CVT’s……. This is their opinion:

The Feline Laser Declaw procedure is much more humane than the traditional declaw surgery.
Oh yeah? Really? Sez who? Oh the two muttonheads who’s clinic it is.

Here’s their headline on their declawing page
The Benefits Of The CO2 Laser Feline Declaw
Which then goes on to offer
SAVE $100.00 during September 2009 and FREE Pre-surgical Examinations Call us today on xxxxxx (haha, I'm not daft enough to include the contact number, no way Hosé)

And here’s another gem:We are pleased to be among the first veterinary practices to offer laser surgery for your precious pet. (they wouldn’t get within a hundred yards of my precious pet I can tell you)

They start off by saying that cat scratching is normal behaviour
“Cat's scratching is a normal behavior that not only helps shed dead nails; it also provides feline communication by depositing scent from glands between their toes on to the scratched object.” Yup, I agree with that, they’ll get no argument from me. Except I’d have called them claws which is what they are, not nails (maybe they think we laymen wouldn’t understand such a difficult word as claw) or am I being pedantic?
Ah, but then they have spoil it by adding
“While natural to the cat, we at xxxxxxx understand when behavior modification (ex: scratching posts, nail trimming, catnip, etc.) has not been effective in deterring your feline friend from using its claws inappropriately and offer Laser Declawing.”

Your feline friend? Don’t make me larf. If it’s natural behaviour then that should be the end of it, never mind jumping in there and offering laser declawing… “Oh please let us help you by crippling your cat. We’ll even knock $100.00 off the price”

Look at this next bit with incredulity, it's priceless -
“Onychectomy (or more commonly called "declawing") is the term given to the surgery involving the permanent removal of the distal portion of the claw. Declawing is completed under general anesthesia. After the distal extremity of each front nail is removed, the paws are usually bandaged”.The distal portion of the claw?? The distal extremity of each FRONT NAIL??? What the hell are they on about? Extremeties of each bloody front TOE is more like, (who has written this anyway? The cleaner? Was she inebriated at the time?)

“Bandaging is not necessary when using the Laser!A brief post surgical stay in the veterinary hospital is often necessary in order to avoid complications. (bleeding out maybe?) The front paws may remain sore for several weeks. In order to promote normal healing, special non-irritating kitty litter should be used for 2-3 weeks.”

Well I’m confused here, at the top they’re singing about the miracles of this CO2 instrument of torture, then they say paws are usually bandaged and then they seem to remember that oh no, they needn’t use a bandage after all. The charred stumps are sealed aren’t they? And look, the front paws are going to remain sore for several weeks! Don’t forget this is "your precious pet” who’s paws are going to be sore by voluntary cosmetic surgery. In order to promote normal healing? What is abnormal healing? I reckon it’s healing around bits of bone etc that leaves the poor cat with mishapen painful paws for the rest of it’s life. The non irritating kitty litter that should be used for 2-3 weeks implies to me that those little stumps are open to infection for that length of time too, so much for laser surgery.

Time for another ad: Laser Declawing offers the safest and most humane method for declawing your feline friend

Using the CO2 laser instead of a scalpel provides surgery with a significant decrease in post-operative pain and swelling. Significant DECREASE of pain and swelling, they're both still there then? The laser cauterizes blood vessels as it cuts and sears the nerve endings, so these are the nerve endings in the extremities of the front nail which , if you remember, is what the inebriate cleaner wrote earlier, this allows our doctors to perform surgery without the use of a tourniquet and no postoperative bandaging is required. Back to the bandages, God they’re obsessed with *bloody bandages (*Freudian slip) Combining laser technology with local nerve blocks (localized pain medication), pre and post-operative pain medication your precious feline is back to normal activities much sooner than traditional surgery with a scalpel would allow. (What? Like, never, do you mean?) Call our office for more details. Like hell I will!
Now, this next bit is quite exceptional, so proud are they of themselves that they invite an audience

Because of our standards we are proud to offer you peace of mind when your pet has surgery by allowing you the following options:

You may stay with your pet when he/she is premedicated and wait while the sedation takes effect

You may watch the laser surgery procedure

You may sit with your loved one after the procedure during recovery

If you would like to have this unique experience with your pet, please tell our Doctors during your presurgical visit. Call today to schedule an appointment.

They are certainly offering a unique experience, at least ten chances to watch this butchery and maybe it’s a good thing because sitting with your "precious pet" and sharing it’s unique (for unique read inhumane, unnecessary, cruel, mutilating, crippling, etc, etc ) experience during declawing and post op pain and confusion could be the very thing that sickens the moron who has subjected his/her cat to declawing. But even so it’s too late for their precious pet isn’t it?
On their authorisation for anaesthesia/surgery form they make a huge point of asking for 50% deposit up front. Do you think this is possibly because when the owners see what is being done to their “precious friends” during the “unique experience” they are sharing they’ll pick the cat up and run a mile! Maybe.

Anyway, if not, when the precious pet has had the “extremities of each front nail” hacked off and the owner has shared the unique experience, they can take their dear friend home the next day and their children can safely do, without fear of reprisal, what the brat in the picture at the top is doing. Manhandle the cat!

My case, as they say, is rested.

I wish a plague of pustulating poxes on declawers.

Old and dangerous declaw propaganda

On this site which has been up since 1999, the owner speaks about her departed cats thus: “They were spayed and neutered, and declawed. They were indoor only cats, and quite content” Further down the home page there is a link to another page written by the site owner and she calls it her politically incorrect opinion. And How! It is so ridiculously biased that although it’s obviously been abandoned the fact that it’s still lurking there, like a World War II hand grenade in the back of the potting shed waiting to impart it’s contents to the innocent, it makes me shudder. Here are her words of wisdom.
I Believe Cats should be declawed - Front Claws That is
There is no earthly reason that a cat must have its front claws. They will fight - if it's ever necessary - with the claws on their hind feet and teeth. If you do the right thing, and keep your cat indoors, it will be unlikely to ever need those claws.
What is this obsession with fighting? Why don’t people like this realise that claws aren’t just a fistful of weapons but are essential tools for plugging in and anchoring themselves for a good stretch of the muscles in the legs, chest and back, for grooming and scratching that maddening itch, for hooking toys and practicing and honing, as cats do for life, their grabbing of prey skills, for balance when doing that most basic and necessary thing, walking from A to B, and for jumping and anchoring with. The sight of a declawed cat slipping off the furniture having jumped and found no grip amuses some people but to me it is simply sad. Another reason to destroy the myth that indoor cats don’t need their claws is of course the real risk of the home being broken into, door or window smashed or left open and cat either fleeing in terror or being abused by the intruder. Either scenario is horrible, a declawed frightened cat outdoors is so very vulnerable, and an indoor cat cornered by some drug or drink crazed trespasser with no claws to lash out with is likely to lose it’s life after God knows what first. So that opening sentence “There is no earthly reason that a cat must have its front claws” not only ignores the needs of the cat but the ultimate safety of the cat in admittedly rare but quite possible future situations.

While most enlightened people today would agree that spaying and neutering are required for their pets, and would also agree that it's safer and healthier for a cat to live indoors than to roam around outside, we haven't got people evolved enough yet to give up the notion that a cat must have its claws in order to be happy.

This starts off OK, (though we “enlightened people” know that spaying and neutering are in fact the same thing, neutering being an umbrella term for spaying and castration) she says that spaying and neutering are required for pets (required sounds a bit big brother like) and that these enlightened people also agree that it’s safer and healthier for a cat to live indoors than to roam around outside.
Well the jury is out on that one and it largely depends which side of the pond you live on. For example in England most people, my family included, think that cats have the right to roam and to live a full life indoors and out. Sometimes it is necessary to confine a cat to the home for one of many reasons but then it is the duty of the owner (for want of a better word) to provide similar stimulation to that which the cat would find outdoors. It’s easy to knock up a cat run, cats aren’t house-proud but they do appreciate fresh air, sunshine and green grass. Don’t we all. In the USA it’s more normal to keep cats indoors all of their lives. I suppose what they never have they never miss and I know that there are natural predators in the USA that wipe out cats, so, as I said the jury is out, I know which way I’d vote but that’s not the subject here, it’s her assumption that she knows best that is so annoying.

And then the killer phrase: “we haven't got people evolved enough yet to give up the notion that a cat must have its claws in order to be happy.”

This honestly makes my eyes bulge and for once words fail me. Evolved? Give up the notion that a cat must have its claws in order to be happy? Here is one definition of evolved “In biology, evolution is change in the genetic material of a population of organisms from one generation to the next. Though the changes produced in any one generation are small, differences accumulate with each generation and can, over time, cause substantial changes in the organisms. ...” so by my understanding the writer seems to think that accepting the amputation of cats toe ends has to be bred into the human race, it’s a bit like one of Hitler’s plans for a master race then? Plainly she is evolved, in fact she speaks in the plural so she must have some evolved friends too, the rest of us are still swinging in trees in the jungle holding our fully clawed but happy cats in our teeth.

This throwback to the anti-spaying, anti-neutering, 'let the cat run free and wild, don't keep it locked indoors' mentality needs to be discarded. Then we will see more happy cat owners, more happy cats, and more cat owners.

This bit is just plain silly, what has this to do with her argument for declawing? Ranting on about “spaying and neutering” is a favourite smoke screen of the “chop them off brigade”, they try to muddy the water by lumping the very necessary neutering of cats with the very unnecessary declawing of cats. I don’t quite get the happy cat owners and happy cats remark I must admit, but she's quite obsessed with the word happy isn't she?

Cats don't need their claws for any other reason. I think the prissy world of the politically correct goes too far, in completely banning and rejecting declawing.

Speechless again! Look at this lot, “cats don’t need their claws for any other reason” Whaaat? What about all those reasons I noted above? And not only do cats need their claws but they WANT their claws, just like I want my finger ends. Imagine someone deciding to chop your or my fingers off, there’d be no end of an investigation, and compensation claims would be flying hither and thither but cats are picked up, stuffed in a basket, whipped off to the vet, anaesthetised and toes removed, then they come home happy. Huh!!! I bloody think not. And the world of the politically correct is prissy is it? Well maybe it is and maybe it’s not but declawing isn’t politically incorrect it is MORALLY incorrect. Completely banning and rejecting declawing is exactly what is needed all the world over but blinkered, self deluding, opinionated bigots like this person will fight to the last to defend her right to cripple her cats, and to tell the world her cats are quite content (and happy).

Next thing, they'll be against spaying and neutering, since that involves mutilation of the animals, and they should have a right to reproduce....

Back to the old, old story, so yawningly predictable so worthless a remark.

But wait…..though her tale is told and she is satisfied that she has enlightened us there is more in the form of comments she received, but before them she posts this: Many people have emailed me, to state their concerns about declawing. **If you're thinking of sending hate mail - and I've received some on this subject - forget it. It goes to 'trash' where it belongs. Polite email is always welcome**but please, do read through the following pages first, because most of the anti-declawing arguments have already been posted!
So the comments made are not going to come as any surprise to you readers, needless to say they are all loaded in favour of declawing, here are some of the comments and her replies too:

1. Our current kitty has his claws, and regularly goes to the groomer for nail trimming, as well as clipping - the fur between his toes and on the pads of his feet grows thick and long, and makes him quite uncomfortable. If he had come to us at a young age, and had to go to the vet's for neutering, then we would definitely have him declawed at that time. Because he has already been neutered, is a most well-behaved cat -he uses his scratching posts faithfully, and because he is not a young cat we would not consider having him declawed now. We see no reason to have him undergo an operation only for that.

Right, so where is the logic here? When they got the cat he was obviously a bit older and had already been neutered, had it been different and he had gone to her as a kitten then he would have lost his claws for life at a very early age and yet this person has written in black and white (well green and white if we’re nitpicking, which of course I love to do) that he is a well behaved cat and he uses his scratching post faithfully, so by the pure accident of not going to live with this person until a later date he kept the claws that he has done no damage with anyway! No one would have known that he had no intention of scratching anything he shouldn’t! And yet she STILL doesn’t make the connection, she goes on to say because he is not young they wouldn’t consider having him declawed now? But why would they? He doesn’t scratch, so why?? Because it’s considered de rigueur that’s why! “We see no reason to have him declawed only for that” must mean the fur growing between his toes; well thank the Good Lord for that!!

The enlightened one has put on a comment here
2. For those of you concerned about what happens when a cat's claws are removed, it's really NOT that big a deal no matter what the politically correct, overly sensitive may say. *While further email and research has convinced me that cat's apparently *DO* lose the tip of the toe when declawed.....because the 2 cats we had throughout their lives were both declawed and had their toes after declawing, I find that the so-called mutilation is pretty insignificant, not a major disaster, as most anti-declawing people claim. As for the pain caused, for Pete's sake, a child goes through a certain amount of pain when getting an inoculation, and may even become ill with a fever, etc. for a few days, but surely you would still get the shots!!? A bit of pain, that has a useful result is sometimes necessary. We can't live in a pain free, happy fantasy Pollyanna world forever. It is *not* possible to avoid pain all the time, either -- it's a fact of life.

Where do I start with this lot of bile? She’s still banging on about the PC and overly sensitive types here, and she still thinks that declawing is not that big a deal despite admitting that email and research has convinced her that cats “apparently DO lose the tips of the toe when declawed”, that shows how much research and knowledge she actually had when she posted her original words of wisdom! She doesn’t seem to know much about cats, not even her own. Can any of you cat lovers tell me that you haven’t looked at any part of your cat? That you wouldn’t have noticed shortened toes, half paws in effect? That you don’t know every inch of your furry companion’s body and caress it and check it for irregularities? I know we do, and yet this all knowing person who has taken it upon herself to advise other people to declaw their cats didn’t even notice that her cats’ had shortened toes, in fact by some miracle she claims her cats still had their toes! And so she proclaims the so-called mutilation pretty insignificant, comparing it to a child having inoculations (which as far as I know doesn’t involve having body parts removed) and becoming ill with fever. Regrettable yes, some kids do, but inoculations are to protect the child for life. A fever following declawing however is the same as a fever following any major amputation on any animal, be it human, feline or any other, a fever following a surgical amputation indicates infection in the stump and that can cause gangrene and can kill! I don’t call that insignificant! Oh! A bit of pain that has a useful result is sometimes necessary is it? Useful result for the owner perhaps, but there again it isn’t the owner who is having the bit of pain is it? No it’s the cat, who is probably having a tremendous amount of pain in fact and who can’t stay in bed with access to painkillers, a bedpan and elbow crutches for walking with, no the cat has to have the toes off, lie in a cage, probably in an Elizabethan collar round it’s neck, overnight then go home and get on with things. This person might in fact be the original Pollyanna, she is so blinkered and indoctrinated to the merits of declawing that she dismisses all pain and distress as a fact of life, which it may well be when it is unavoidable but declawing is elective and totally unnecessary so by choosing to declaw their cat an owner is actually opting to voluntarily cause their cat great pain.
In real life, some cats are very destructive with their claws, and won't use a scratching post. Does an owner have to suffer, because of that, by not declawing? Doesn't seem right to me.
Well it seems more right to me than the cat suffering because the owner is too damn lazy to spend time teaching their cat about the scratching post.

Here’s another comment that had me reaching for the Diazepam before I could even contemplate commenting on it
"What a relief to find a site that doesn't condemn a cat owner for getting his kitty declawed.”

Give me strength what sort of bloke talks about “getting his kitty declawed”, my mental picture of him is a right big girls blouse, polishing his specs and his furniture constantly. Lets see what else macho man has to say…

Along with the fact that my little buddy absolutely hates getting his claws trimmed, he screams and wails at the site of anything metal while he's held (doesn't need any contact to start the panic). Well I bet his poor little buddy bloody screamed and wailed at the surgery then as he was prepped for his declawing, but let’s hear the story:
My kitty, Simba, was terrorizing the dog (a female Papillion named Gizmo).Even while Simba was sleeping, the dog refused to walk past,fearing a ruthless attack - wimpering and crying to be helped past the cat, sometimes even wetting herself in desperation. Simba's attacks were getting more severe than the normal 'slash and dash', we would see the dog yelping and running by with Simba attached - all claws embedded in the dog and biting into Gizmo's throat. The dog's fear of the cat extended to waiting while the cat ate (being to afraid to eat near him),and having 'accidents' just to avoid going past the cat. The dog even started having skin problems from all the scratch wounds she was receiving from Simba - just like my girlfriend and her daughter (who are allergic to cats - though love Simba). Typically when Simba scratched someone (human or otherwise), it wasn’t just a quick slash - most of the time it was like a digging, continued slashing until the claws got stuck in the victim.
My God, it’s not a cat he’s got it’s a wild beast that slashes ickle doggies in their sleep and makes them pee their pants. OK which animal was there first? Was Simba overthrown by the new doggy? Was his furry nose pushed out of joint by an excited pup who thought everyone was his friend and bothered Simba to the point that he lashed out? Did he or his girlfriend try seperating them? Did they just stand and watch this killer cat picking on ickle doggy? Who knows, the bloke doesn’t bother to give any background, he’s just sooooo relieved that he isn’t going to get condemned for declawing his kitty!
Simba just got declawed yesterday, and is still bandaged up and sore. We feel very sad for him, and wished he would have calmed down (we kept giving him 2nd chances to stop being so aggressive),but the injuries he was delivering to the dog and us were getting to be too much. It was either declawing or animal shelter, and though we hate seeing him feel so bad - we couldnt let him go to a shelter.
As I said before, I bet his poor little buddy bloody screamed and wailed at the surgery then as he was prepped for his declawing, he would certainly catch sight of plenty of metal there. But wait, he said Simba GOT declawed, that implies Simba had a choice….in fact Simba had no choice because Simba has no voice, and that voice might just have come in handy for Simba to explain just what the problem was with the dog, the girlfriend and the child, problems that might not have been down to Simba at all but for which the poor cat had to carry the can! I wonder how they gave him second chances and how they expected him to know about these chances?

FYI - Simba was found in a box that was in a garbage pile at an apartment building (waiting to be picked up), when he was less than 2 weeks old. We all took turns feeding him with a bulb syringe for the first month that we had him.
What’s this got to do with the price of fish? Is this some sort of attempt to prove he loves his kitty? Funny sort of love!

Escaping from the house...There are at least 2 doors to get through to go in or out, with small areas enclosed by the doors....couple times that we've taken Simba outside, he hates it - if your holding him, he clings to you; if you leave out there, he wails and pounds at the door (wanting to get back in).We actually tested him, to see what his reaction would be if he got out." I can tell you, he’ll be flaming dead seeing as he has no claws to defend himself, another mutilated life prisoner is added to the list!

Anyway that’s macho kitty-man on his way with a clear conscience and we only have one more comment left.

Here the enlightened one introduces it –
Excerpt from an email received, used with permission
Thank you for your reasonable stance on declawing. So much more sensible than most of the anti-declawing web sites I've seen. Is it really better to have a constant battle with yelling at the cat, or spraying them with water and still not being able to keep them from destroying that $1500 couch or $350 drapes?
So if it doesn’t keep them from destroying the furniture why yell at them or spray them with water? Why not take a chill pill and buy one or two goods sized scratching posts and spend time showing the cat what to do with them?
Or for the cat to have a few days of discomfort followed by a much more rewarding relationship with its owner? Is it better to get so frustrated that an owner has their pet euthanized or begins putting them outside where they can get killed by dogs or cars and die a painful death, or a simple (usually safe and complication free) procedure?
Again we have this much more rewarding relationship cr*p, the owner gets the reward here, the cat just doesn’t get yelled at or sprayed with water for scratching the couch and that is because his poor bloody paws are too sore and sensitive. I wonder what this few days of discomfort would be described as if it was the owner having nails removed, I wrote a blog a while back based on the experience of a friend who had to have some toenails removed. She didn’t describe it as a few days of discomfort, she described it as three months of pain, and remember that was toenails only, removed from beds of flesh, not toe ends with claws attached sawed, cut or lasered through with resulting injury to adjacent bone, tendons, skin and fur.

What is a person doing owning a cat in the first place if they are going to work themselves up into such a state of frustration about the cat that they kill it themselves or put it outside to be killed by dogs or cars? This person sounds unhinged!
A simple (usually safe and complication free) procedure. Don’t make me larf!! We all know, we’ve read, we’ve seen, evidence to the contrary. Declawing isn’t safe, it can kill or cripple a cat, complications are the rule rather than the exception, you only have to read some of the sites that we all post on Y/A where complications are well documented to know this. This is what worries me, people like this can give opinions that could result in a cat losing it’s toes (or life) if read by someone gullible or someone looking for justification for chopping off those offending toes.
I've owned several cats who were declawed by vets who did a good job, none of whom have acted as if they miss their claws at all. Most of them were declawed at a young age, when they were spayed or neutered. They still ran, jumped, climbed, and played with the same energy as before. They still 'knead'ed their paws as they were being petted. They still loved to play under the bedskirt jumping out to get my toes, except now I'm not yelling 'ouch' as they scratch me.

It’s all about “me” isn’t it? And isn’t playing under “bedskirts” and jumping out what cats do? Is it so wrong for them to play like this? Wrong enough to amputate toes? So she has to yell “ouch” – so what? It’s hardy life threatening to get your toes attacked. People just don’t seem to make any allowances for cats playing and accidentally involving the owner and the claws. And they don’t give them any leeway, they don’t allow them to be cats. WHY do some people have a cat and then deny the cat the right to play? What do they actually expect of the cat?

They don't accidentally get hung up in carpet (as you mentioned). People don't realize that cats can pull their own nails out like this, when they get hung up in the artificial weave of carpet or material. They also don't accidentally hurt one another while playing. Come on, how often does this happen?

You can use my comments on your web site if you like.

Oh yes the enlightened one liked very much the chance to put forward more evidence, sadly the evidence is flawed as is all the information on this cursed site.

I wonder what this person is up to these days. I wonder if her mind is still closed and locked against reason? I wonder if she is still spreading declawing propaganda? I don’t know the answers but I do know however that this site of hers is like a barrel of nuclear waste buried underground or thrown into the deep briny sea, it’s shelf life is long since over but it’s still there, on the Internet, and seeping poison that can have tremendous impact on the lives and paws of kittens and cats in the USA and Canada.

My cats have claws, have yours?

A little light relief

Recently I've been collecting what I think of as "funnies" from various places. Some of the topics are serious ones, and I don't wish to laugh at that but I hope these bring a bit of light relief to those who campaign tirelessly for animals.
Starting off with:
Q Was I right to get my cat declawed? (Needless to say we all answered NO, but here's a good bit of information) You could have filed or cut them too but it's dangerous considering they have meat in their nails, so you have to know exactly where to stop.
Q How can I stop my cat scratching me?
A Trim the pawnails

Here's a comment about we who post arguments against declawing
Ah, the usual flurry of thumbs downs typed in by middle-aged women in cardigans who's homes smell of cat wee and no prospect of marriage.
Well, I qualify on two out of the three points I suppose

Moving on to the strange things cats do:
Q Does anybody know what this means? My baby, the one in my avatar, every time I wear shorts, she gets her 2 front paws on my leg and takes a little bite off my leg. Not to hurt me, just a little snip! I find this so cute. Is she trying to tell me something or is it just her way of giving me a kiss?:-)
Here's my favourite answer......I think it's a cat kiss especially when you consider that cats don't have lips. (Mine do!)

Strange noises:
1 My cat makes a noise like a telephone she sounds like she's sayong "Riiiiing Riiiinnngg" makes me laugh every time.
2 Some like to get in the bathtub and chase their tails. You hear Womp Womp Womp and that is what they are doing.
So if you hear womping in the night...don't look for your cat, he's in the bathtub.

Cats having kittens:
When my cat had kittens, she just curled up behind my closet door and let them go.

Cats in bed
I have a black and white cat and a grey and white cat what colour sheets would be best?

Hungry cats
My cat would definitely eat me. My dog would too probably.

Cats in the kitchen:
When a cat rubs you or any object they are marking their territory, he or she is claiming the microwave as his microwave also he is just letting you know he is letting you use it
Probably just to warm up his own food though!

Cat health
Q Why would my kitten not be pooping
A Same reason as you, he's constipated.
Succinct and to the point!
Q Are cats colour blind?
A Who can actually tell? You can't go up to a cat and ask "Can you see colour or not?" So maybe, maybe not!
This is very true

Words of wisdom:
1 A lot of cats have no eyelashes
2 Outdoor cats are the best. they stay in shape and poop and piss outside.
3 Cats don't know who you are unless you smell.
4 Body temp is best measured internally, rectumal temperatures may be altered by poop and gasses. Oh yuck!
5 Cats purr by vibrating a bone in their throat

Cats breeding:
1 A pregnant female cat is called a queen. If she is fixed then there is no name for her.
2 Can dogs and cats have a period? Or can they just breed right out of the womb??
3 Even female cats should be spayed by six months or they will go in to heat & drive you crazy with howling at the top of their lungs 24 hours a day, dripping all over the house & you won't sleep.
4 Harry's going to be newted today (better change his name to fish-face)

Q How much do you love your cat
A more than my cars and electric guitars

Q What colour is your cat?
A 1 He's black but you can tell he's a tabby in the sunlight.
A2 My cat is a fat orange tabby with no tail, she's so cute and we love her.

Songs about cats:
"It's really good to hear your purr, meowing my name it sounds so sweet
Coming from the paws of a kitty, hearing those meows, it makes me weak"
and this is my favourite
"Precious kitty from above whom I love, love, love!"

Odds and ends
"My friend showed me where she had been bitten. How do I no if I've got flees?"

Who's leg is like a tree trunk? The owner's or the dogs? If it's the owner I'd just clean the shoes and keep quiet (an issue about stepping in doggy-doo)

"I guess if I forced the cat to have something done for his snoring I would have had to insist on it for the humans too."

"I'm sorry but cats REALLY don't know what a birthday is.......sorry to break it to you."

"My cat poops only when classical music is playing"

"My cat's got a loud purr and if he lies of your feet you get a message" (He must be a psychic medium)

Q Sometimes when I go next to a cat (Except Polo) they run away, why?
A Maybe you could have a ghost on you. They don't like that

Q What should I call my black and white cat?
A Cabbage John

Confrontational (needless to say on the declawing subject)
Do you also have a problem with a baby's ambilical cord being cut at birth?
No! Nor it's umbilical cord but that's no argument against declawing mate.

Q Where does your cat sleep?
A1 The little male cat sleeps with his body wrapped around the dog's nose and the female cat sleeps up against the dog's belly and uses his penis sheath for a pillow. All three of them are just a trifle left off centre.

A2 Mine loves inside the toilet, she's really strange. Unfortunately that's sucky for me because I have to clean her.

A3 My cat loves my kid's stroller, I put the seat into the lying down position, sunshade down, and I even put a towel hanging from the sunshade so it makes a nice little "house" for him.
This isn't actually funny, it's lovely that someone with a small child still makes such a fuss of her cat but I've included it because thinking of the cat, happy in the stroller with the sunshade down and a towel as well to make sure he's cool just makes me smile.

And finally my absolute favourite
I have a Persian cat and you may know that they have faces that are smashed in.
Poor little blighters!

Thanks for your indulgence, back to a serious topic next time.

Steer clear of Marty the Loser

Hells teeth! This bloke takes a bit of beating. On that stinking horrible site that demonstrates the instrument of torture known as Clearview Laser Declaw Assistant there are two testimonials. One is from a Dr Cohen from Cincinnati who gushes "The time and effort saved using the Clear View laser declaw assistant make it a valuable tool."
And the other is from a Dr Martin Losey from Winter Haven, Florida who says "Allowed us to free up a technician during the procedure, who was no longer needed to hold the leg". Oh yeah the leg is held up for him to do his dirty deed by the horrible wooden frame with the hook embedded in it. The technician can use the time saved to prepare the next victim for the conveyor belt declawing procedure, the quicker the better, he’s got to make the money back for his equipment.
But from three comments on this site which invites reviews of animal hospitals in Winter Haven http://www.insiderpages.com/s/FL/WinterHaven/AnimalHospitals it seems that Dr Losey is to be avoided at all costs.
The first review is entitled THINK ABOUT THIS VET BEFORE YOU GO THERE and says “If you use this vet you really need to reconsider if YOU LOVE YOUR DOG OR CAT, he really is not a good vet, he tried to do a un-necessary surgery on my dog that he was just guessing at and never did the proper lab work to find out what was wrong. I DO NOT AND REALLY MEAN DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS IDIOT TO ANYONE.” Posted 06/10/09 This person gave him a rating of 1 out of 5, there wasn’t an option to give zero or I think he’d have got it from her.

The second review is titled “Heard bad things too” and says “I have always heard bad things about this place and also I heard that the wife is not very nice at all, matter of fact I overheard a young girl that works there talking about how much she can't stand her and that she is very hard to work for, I am so glad I never went there after reading this” Posted 06/10/09 this was a 1 out of 5 too.
The third comment is this “Thank you for your review I'm sorry to hear about your dog, but I'm glad I'm not the only one with problems with this so called vet, I had my dog in there just for normal shots and was told that his prostrate was enlarged and he needed to be neutered right away or he would get cancer, I took him to a real vet and was told that his prostrate was NORMAL in size and the dog was ok. That man should not be practicing any more. I have heard sssoooo many things bad about them now I know, I would never recommend him to anyone!!!!” Posted 06/13/09 again 1 out of 5 for the rating.

Now isn’t it a horrible thought that someone who has attracted such bad comments, particularly the first and last ones, is performing declawing procedures on cats, probably every day.

This is what he says about himself: “I treat all my clients' pets like "fur" children. Many owners children have grown up and moved away leaving the pet behind for the parents to care for them.” and he says this around the time of his 30-year in practice party “Veterinary medicine has always been my love..It never gets boring.”

Correct me if if I’m wrong but I really don’t think this chap would amputate the finger and toes ends of children, and I’m damned if I think their Grannies and Grandads would allow it either! So what’s all this guff about fur children, and if he’s been in practice for over 30 years then he should sod off and retire and take his Clearview Laser Assistant with him, oh yes I just bet he DOES love the dosh he makes, and the new and more gruesome apparatus he gets to aid himself will provide endless entertainment for his savage habits.

Here’s the blurb about him
Dr. J. Martin Losey II DVM opened Losey Animal Hospital in 1977, after attending the Ohio State University College of Veterinary Medine. Our primary interest is in small animal medicine and surgery. We have a well equipped lab for fast,easy results; a cutting and therapy laser for stifle/knee surgery which aids in faster recovery of your pet. Laser surgery makes declaws, neuters and spays faster, bloodless and less painfull for your pets. Losey Animal hospital has always been on the cutting edge of medicine for your pets ,as well as giving family like quality to our clients. We recently celebrated our 32nd anniversery of excellant pet care. My staff and myself would be pleased to care for your furry friends.

There he goes, “laser surgery makes declaws (neuters an spays) faster, bloodless and less painful.” LESS painful…why should they be in pain at all? They should never even be in the theatre having their toes amputated. And the final sentence “my staff and myself would be pleased to care for your furry friends” is just creepy, it makes me think of a pantomime undertaker standing smiling and rubbing his hands together while sizing you up for a coffin. He can’t spell excellent either!

Here’s his list of “services” I use the word services very loosely. And I think those three reviewers would agree.
Small Animals
Boarding
Surgery
Spay / Neuter
Declaw
Euthanasia
Microchip
Dentistry
Ultrasound
Laser Surgery
On-Site Pharmacy
Flea Control Program
Dietary Counseling
Behavioral Counseling
On-Site Lab

Home Alone

I know Kattaddorra has already blogged about this subject very capably, but this week I heard some really sad things about cats who’s owners had taken every precaution to leave them safely cared for and still lost them. This made me think all over again about how often people ask the question “Is it Ok to leave my cat alone for x number of days?” And it’s sometimes up to a week that they are thinking of leaving them! How can they be so dense? It is pure selfishness and totally blinkered thinking because of course they want someone to say “Yes it’s fine, leave your cat, go and enjoy yourself”

Here’s Bobby’s story by his mum Tina
“Please say a prayer for my little cat. We arrived home from our holiday, and I immediately rang the cattery - couldn't wait to get my cat home again. Was told he had been taken to the vets that morning while we were travelling home, he was very poorly after an Asthma attack. Rang the vets and was told to go straight away as it didn't look good. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. By the time we got to the vets he was desperate and hanging on to his poor little life. He was in an oxygen tent, suffering, in pain and his breathing was desperate. He was dying. If we hadn't have arrived when we did, they said they would have had to put him to sleep without us. We were just in time to say goodbye. My baby has gone.”

Poor Bobby, poor Tina, and this was a well loved cat who had been left in a cattery, just imagine then if he’d been home alone, with bowls of stale water, food gone off, litter tray dirty and then had an asthma attack. He would have died, in pain and fear alone. This is what could happen, do they care?

Here’s another cat Angus who would have died alone
“We went to Cornwall in March to visit family. On the Thursday before we came back my friend called at 8pm to tell me that my boy Angus had been rushed to the vets in the afternoon and unfortunately he had passed away. It is bad enough when it happens when you are there for them but when you are not there, it is worse. I felt really bad for my friend having to go through all that for me, but I know he was well looked after during his last few hours.”

Luckily the friends were there to care for Angus, but who would have rushed him to the vet if he’d been locked in and left by himself, no one and he would have lain dead until his mum came and found him.


This one shows that even asking a friend to care for your cat doesn’t guarantee he/she will be safe
“That happened to me a few years ago I had a friend look in and feed my cat only to come home for her to say she hadn’t seen my cat for 2 days but didn’t phone me, so I went round all the neighbours houses to see if she was accidentally locked in a shed my adjoining neighbour told me to go to someone’s house, she told me the cat walked into her garage crawled under her cupboard to sleep said it looked ill, she phoned the RSPCA as she didn’t know whose cat it was so they took her away and put her to sleep I went all over Oxfordshire to find my cat to bring her home to bury. After being given the run around eventually found her & met the RSPCA man at a service station on a hot day like today, came home to be sickened they’d only left a pigeon, mouse etc in with her, and maggots I was not happy ...eventually buried her”
Frankly I would have killed the friend; I notice she said “I had a friend”, sometimes those who would leave their cats say "he has a cat flap", but who would be there to notice if he left by way of the cat flap and never returned.... This poast doesn'r say much for the efficiency of the RSPCA either, but that is old news, sadly they are pretty useless, except for asking for donations.

And finally Prudence
“The same thing happened to us 5 yrs ago my beloved Prudence had a stroke and was in the vets when we returned from holiday. She was 18yrs and extremely intelligent she had hung on for us I am sure. I have never heard anything like the sound she made when we arrived and feel sure to this day that she was trying to talk to me. She had to be put to sleep and it broke my heart I will miss her forever.”

Imagine Prudence locked in, alone, in the dark, scared, dirty probably and finally.... dead.

I wish I could understand what makes people tick, what makes them think that cats can be neglected for up to a week at a time just so they can go away and enjoy themselves?

These three cat mums are obviously very upset, I wonder what they would say to someone considering abandoning their cat at home – alone.

Declawing - a human experience

Recently a friend, P, had to have some of her toenails removed, and after remarking jokingly that she was going to be declawed I thought maybe hearing what this similar procedure was like for a human might give us an inkling of an idea what cats go through when they have their claws, and toe ends, removed. P was kind enough to oblige and wrote down her experiences.

P was firstly given this written explanation of what would happen. “This operation is conducted to remove part or all of a diseased, damaged, thickened or ingrowing toenail. We are going to take your toenails off permanently because of severe ingrowing toenails. Two big toes and two adjacent toes on both feet will be operated on. Firstly your left foot, followed by surgery on your right foot at a later date. Note that only one foot would be attended to at a time with a break in between surgery. Please read the document and if you agree, please sign the consent form.”

Well this sounds very frightening to me, I think I would have limped a mile to avoid that. And I would imagine that seeing it all written down in black and white was pretty scary for P too. But imagine, if you will, if she hadn’t been given that explanation, didn’t even have ingrown toenails but had normal healthy feet and knew nothing about any forthcoming procedure until the day came that she was bundled into an ambulance, by the consent of someone she trusted, against her will and delivered to the hospital.
Having read and understood the proposed treatment P was then invited to sign the consent form and rightly so, it would be unthinkable not to be given the choice once she knew what was going to happen, at that point she may have decided not to go through with it after all. Ah but, going back to our earlier imagined scenario, the P that knew nothing of what was in store for her, that P was delivered to the hospital with no idea why, or for that matter where she was. No explanation given, no consent form signed, at least not by P but by someone who had elected themselves as her carer and had decided that this operation would make her easier to care for so had booked her in for it that day. She was then taken and put in a small room, almost like a cage, maybe surrounded by other people, also in small rooms, who were frightened and calling out for explanations and for someone they trusted to come and take them home.

P tells it like this: “I was weighed firstly to assess how much anaesthetic to administer”, now my friend obviously knew what was happening, why she was being weighed, and I guess she was asked kindly to get on and then off the scales. I don’t think our imaginary P was informed, I think it’s more likely that the door to her small room was opened without preamble and she was picked up buy someone much bigger than herself and dumped on a scale and held still while her weight was noted. Then she was returned to her small room to wait and wonder.

P says “Once on the operating table that was arranged for me to be comfortable in a sitting position as I wanted to watch, the anaesthetic local injections were administered around the big toe and the adjacent toe on my left foot. I watched as they scrubbed up and set the sterile trolley. The surgeon tested for numbness and asked if I was comfortable. Lovely music was played quietly to create a relaxing atmosphere. I was asked for the last time if I wanted to go through with the operation. I said yes. The procedure began “

Meanwhile imaginary P has been taken into theatre and given a general anaesthetic. Do you remember the favoured anaesthetics of Paul the Pimp in one of my previous blogs? If you do you will know that P might not only have been given intravenous anaesthesia but she might have also had ketamine sprayed into her eyes if she had she struggled and been hard to restrain. I reckon I'd struggle and be hard to restrain wouldn't you? We'd all have the ketamine sprayed in our eys wouldn't we? Imaginary P has been given a cocktail of anaesthesia and is now at risk of seizures, vomiting, tremors, spastic jerking movements and hypo or hyper thermia amongst other things. She is also at risk of appearing completely sedated, but still being able to move, even kick, bite or scratch, in response to sharp auditory stimulation due to the Xylazine she has been given. I hope she doesn’t move or kick at a crucial moment in the removal of her toenail.

My friend P was lying comfortably on the table, watching the procedure, by her own power of choice. Unconscious but twitching, imaginary P was hauled up into stirrups with her legs held really tight and tourniquets were strapped round her legs, first one and then, later, the other
My friend P says: First an incision was made down the sides and bottom of the big toenail. Another instrument was put down my toe and the nail and the nail levered steadily off. The nail came off very easily but my big toe nail bed bled profusely. Chemicals on tiny swabs were placed slowly but deeply around the matrix (cuticles) to destroy all future nail growth. The adjacent toe was operated on next and exactly the same routine was carried out.

Meanwhile mythical P has turned into a cat (this is quite feasible, after all this is an imaginary exercise) and is having a traditional declawing procedure, paw number one is held securely aloft and the tourniquet is applied. Toe by toe is extended and using either a scalpel or a guillotine type of clipper the vet cuts through bone, nerves, ligaments and tendons. Inevitably there is crushing of bone, tearing of skin and bruising, how could there not be? This happens five times on each front paw, with the possibility of a further 4 on each back paw. Each separate wound has to be sutured and then the paw tightly bandaged to prevent haemorrhaging

P goes on to say: Once the bleeding was brought under control, sterile dressings were applied then wrapped generously in bandages and tube gauze until both toes resembled huge white mushrooms. I was helped off the operating table and helped on with my open toed sandals, with the top fastening completely undone. On crutches I was helped out to where my daughter was waiting to take me home in the car.

Imaginary P is still under the effect of anaesthesia and as that effect wears off may experience as Paul the Pimp puts it “episodes of emergence delirium”, imaginary P, the cat, will gradually become aware of intense pain but will not be able to rationalise what has happened or why the paws are tightly bound, and so will start to worry at the bandages, try to stagger to her feet and begin to cry out in pain and confusion. As she stands and puts pressure on her ruined toes she will feel more pain and possibly the suturing will split and bleeding will begin Perhaps the veterinary practice doesn’t routinely give painkillers unless specifically requested by the carer. Certainly if pain relief is administered it will be charged for as extra. Imaginary P will stay in the small recovery cage all through the night; I guess sleep will not come easily.

My friend P is now at home where she has been told to rest with her foot elevated, her local anaesthetic is wearing off and she reaches for her painkillers.

The day after the declawing procedure imaginary P may be sent home, first being placed in the carrier she was brought into surgery in, it is inevitable that she will have to walk a few steps as she is pushed into the carrier, so far since her operation she hasn’t had her feet elevated at all. Gravity must be pulling at those stumps and making them throb like crazy. Now home she has to emerge from the carrier and hobble towards her resting place and maybe her litter box. Lift those paws high P, don’t hit the edge of the litter box with those throbbing stumps. Resting at last she tries to make sense of what has happened to her, what are the things on her paws, why can’t she get them off, why does she hurt so much.

Three days later my friend P drives herself to hospital for a check up, her dressings were removed, the wounds cleaned and fresh dressings applied. She was asked to return after another week had passed.

Mythical P has had to resume life; pain relief if given was for a couple of days. Litter box must be used, children maybe, or dogs, must be dealt with, sore weeping stumps still wrapped must be protected. Pain makes the best of us irritable. No claws for defence, maybe P will bite instead.

My friend P says: "in between hospital visits I went to the nurse at the doctor’s surgery as I had pain in my knee and couldn’t balance to apply my dressings. An infection set in and at my next visit to the nurse a week later she called in the doctor. He confirmed I had a bad infection. My toes were very red, swollen, oozing and painful. A prescription for antibiotics was given. A week later I returned only to have the doctor say the infection was still there and was given another prescription for further antibiotics. The pain was terrible and I had to take painkillers also. "

Oh no, imaginary P also has an infection, not only that but she has damage to the radial nerves and possibly bone chips working to the surface of the stump. For a time it seems that the infection will take over and one of her paws might have to be amputated. She hasn’t been able to elevate her paws, she wasn’t given crutches to walk with nor an advice sheet telling her to rest, she’s had to walk, jump and scratch in her litter box.

My friend P says The foot clinic at the hospital were horrified at my experience and told me not to go to my doctors surgery anymore and if I had any problems to go and see them. My toes eventually started to heal and I started to leave off the dressings. Healing process had taken three months and a lot of pain

Meanwhile imaginary P is still confused, demoralised, withdrawn, defenceless, and as cats do she is hiding her pain. She still has the instinct to scratch but doing so is useless and she just rubs her wounded toes on surfaces, slipping off and making them sore, her family think this is cute and smile to see her unable to claw the couch, carpet or drapes. Money well spent they say.

My friend P finishes by saying “The same operation on my right big toe and adjacent toe took place after three months. I have had three visits to the hospital for a change of dressings since then and they are keeping a closer eye on me this time. So far all my toes look healthy”.

Imaginary P is frustrated, her stumps still hurt, she bites when scared or taken by surprise. She hides from children and dogs because she fears they will hurt her. She can’t stand the feel of rough litter on her sensitive stumps so she has started to pee and poop where it feels softer. She wonders why she is being yelled at and sprayed with water. Her back starts to ache because she doesn’t walk as cats should. She is a disappointment to her family. Perhaps they will decide to get rid of her after all or maybe get another cat to play with her, if course it will have to be declawed too incase it hurts her, and so it goes on, cat after cat made permanently disabled.

P also wrote this: Cats do not give consent; cats do not rest their legs for a day after the operation to stem bleeding. In the 21st century it is deplorable that de-clawing of cats still happens in some parts of the world that are considered civilized! Cats are born with claws for a reason. If any humans don’t like furniture being clawed then they should not own a cat. Cats are beautiful and loving creatures. Cats do not have any say in how we look after them. They totally trust us to do the right things for them and love us back a hundredfold.

People of the world, please do all you can to ban declawing of cats immediately.

On behalf of our loving pets…. thank you

And from me…thank you Pammy

Elsie can’t lose – he gets it both ways

Well now, here we have a chappie, let’s just call him Elsie at random, who owns an all cat clinic in Denver, he believes that “all cats should lead happy and healthy lives” and so he offers “Spays, Neuters and Declaws”. Oh what fun for the cats to be declawed, how healthily they shall limp through the rest of their days on ruined paws. He also says “we offer spays and neuters at an affordable price. We also provide pain medication and fluids in the price of every surgery.” Well give the man a carrot – he recognises the need for fluids and pain medication not only for necessary surgery such as neutering but it seems that even the cats subject to cosmetic surgery just might feel a tad of pain and so he includes it in the price, very big of him.

Now then, this toe amputating wonder boy has made a study of cat behavioural issues, and he’s getting himself a bit hot under the collar about litter box aversion, because he’s gone and found out that over 5.9 million cats are taken to shelters each year and that 73% are killed. And on this site there is this fact
Seventy percent (70%) of cats turned in to pounds and shelters for behavioral problems are declawed. (National Survey from pounds & shelters obtained by Caddo Parrish Forgotten Felines & Friends) source

So Elsie, lets do the math, 70% of the 5.9 million cats surrendered each year are declawed so I get that to be 4,130000 million cats, of which 73% are killed which is 3,014900 cats killed each year because of behavioural problems caused by you and you ilk who cut off their toes! This, Elsie, is what you cause:
“Behavioral problems frequently haunt declawed cats. By far, the commonest thing we see is cats not using the litter box. When cats have stress beyond what they can take, it often shows up as a litter box problem and declawing makes them stress intolerant, in general, for the rest of their lives,”

If you were doing that to humans you’d be a mass murderer sonny!

But never fear readers! Not only does Elsie cause this problem and cause these unnecessary, deaths – OH NO! He also solves the problems too because by purest chance he also owns a company that manufactures a special cat litter for cats with litter box problems, described oh so coyly as “wee problems”. Here is some of the advertising bumf

“Inappropriate elimination,” “litter box aversion,” and “house soiling” are just some of the kinder, gentler names given to a wee kitty problem—one that’s a leading cause of cat relinquishment.”
“The company (Elsie’s company) suggests that it may help newly adopted cats beginning their litter box training, as well as “problem” cats who’ve developed new potty problems.”

Well wouldn’t you just know it, those happy and healthy cats that have been declawed by Elsie are now lucky enough to have someone to solve their “potty problems”, and it just happens to be Elsie!

Now this must be a dream scenario for our lad, not only does he make a lot of money from making those cats happy and healthy by declawing them, he also makes a lot more money by selling the morons that own the happy healthy cats some special litter to solve the problems that he’s made in the first place! It sells for about $11 to $19 a bag. Looking at the fawning testimonials on his website it seems that a lot of people with cats with litter box problems have found that this Cat Attract litter is wonderful! Hmm, how many of them have declawed cats? I’d put money on 100% of them. Would you agree?

Elsie “won't say what is the active ingredient in the litter that makes cats more attracted to the box but said it is not catnip because only 50 percent of cats are drawn to that herb. Since he introduced the product in December, Elsie said Precious Cat has doubled its Cat Attract sales.”

Yippeeee Elsie is going to be stinking rich – he can’t lose can he? He declaws them and gets BIG bucks, and then if he’s lucky and they join the four million plus club that develops “potty problems” he sells their morons some special litter that only he knows the secret ingredient of. The man is a genius! He will take the secret to his grave, in a luxurious coffin because he's stinking rich, secure in the knowledge that he has made cats happy& healthy

Now, this is going against all my instincts and will stick uncomfortably in my craw because I do not want this butcher to make a penny piece out of the tragic results of declawing, but, if his wonder litter really DOES attract cats that otherwise wouldn’t use their litter boxes and if it saves the lives of even some of those poor crippled little souls then I’m going to have to start recommending it on Yahoo Answers. That is because it is the cats and their comfort that are of vital importance and not my hatred of declawing vets.

So here is the link to his site and the product is called Cat Attract.

God Bless those little cats that need special litter for their problems and give people the patience to treat them kindly.