This Rookie Vet Appalls Me!

Well now, recently we have been treated to the wisdom of a wet-behind-the-ears vet, who graduated in July from the Purdue School of Veterinary Medicine, having had all of approximately three months experience she now feels qualified to speak about declawing. This youngster’s name is Lechlitner, which sounds like the name of a mushroom to me so perhaps Fungus would be a nice new name for her.

Fungus is the proud ”pet parent” of a cat, a dog and a python and she says she spends much of her time educating owners on preventative medicine and keeping the pets they love happy and healthy. She works for Banfield, much featured in the Declaw Hall of Shame of course because it promotes declawing.

So our little minx is naturally totally brainwashed, and we can well imagine the preventative medicine she educates cat owners with, especially those cat owners who are in thrall to their soft furnishings. Being young and full of herself and her recent qualifications Fungus has this to say about herself on her Facebook page

“I'm living in Austin, TX now and it is hotter than the blazes of hell. We're breaking a record for number of days over 100. I'm in my third week of work at Banfield here and I really like it. I think it's just like every other clinic, except when I leave I walk through PetSmart...so that's a little weird. I get to do a cystotomy tomorrow, so that should be fun... ”Can't wait to hear from y'all! (Like how I said y'all?)

It’s just like every other clinic in the same way that Auschwitz was like every other prison maybe? Hmmm?

Anyway, here is what our little fungi has to say in her very important blog.

I am appalled with the current legislation push in California cities to ban declawing vets. So what? Who cares about your opinions pet?

While there are opposing views within the veterinary community as to whether or not cats should be declawed, I maintain that we are the experts on this subject and should decide for ourselves, with the cat parents, on performing the procedure. (Oh I'm a vet, me, me, look at me, I'm important, I want to decide)

Haha, “we are the experts”, baby girl you have a long way to go before you’re an expert. And as for “we should decide for ourselves with the cat parent on performing the procedure” well, where is the decision? Banfield is for declawing, she is an employee of Banfield, the damned “cat parents” obviously want their cat’s toes hewn off or they wouldn’t be there in the first place so what the hell decision is there apart from the date and time of the butchery? And while I’m on – “cat parent” for crying out loud it makes me puke, what parent would request, nay insist on, the sawing or burning off of their offspring’s digits? Give me a break dear, grow up and stop playing mummies and daddies.

When the procedure is performed with appropriate anesthesia, pain management, and post-surgical care, the results are usually good.

When it is? WHEN it is? I think she could have phrased that a bit better if she wanted to convince us non believers, perhaps she could have said “because the procedure…” or was it a Freudian slip? The crux of it though is that she says the results are “usually” good. Behind that word usually I wouldn’t mind betting there is a wealth of pain and trauma experienced by those cats whose results were far from good. But which I’m equally sure there are no statistics kept of, and the details of which are glossed over.

Cats that are declawed must always be indoor pets. Cat parents should discuss with their veterinarian their concerns. Their concerns about their couch? Their drapes? Or about little Johnny being scratched when he pulls Kitty’s tail? Or their concerns for their elderly parents who are well over 50 and in their dotage and the cat might claw their arm clean off their shoulder with one swipe because it is so mean and feisty. Or the landlord might not let them move into the soopah doopah flat of their dreams if they have the temerity to own, sorry be a cat parent to, a clawed feline. Such pressing concerns, of course our Fungus is going to counsel them in their hour of need and then bring to bear her expertise and decide with them to rip those claws out, foregone conclusion of course…Banfield loves declawing the way Walter Wall loves carpets!

I do not believe that city council members are equipped to make blanket decisions as to how veterinarians should practice. I do not think (most) veterinarians are so equipped either; this is because they are either barely out of “diapers” or because they are blinded by the great US dollar. In fact many city council members are “cat parents” themselves (sick bag needed over here please) and so make their decision based on their own experience and their own feelings as to the right or wrong of declawing. And oh, happy day, as we know, recently Santa Monica, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Beverly Hills and hopefully Berkeley today have all made their decisions and voted to kick declawing up the ass in their cities.

If an individual veterinarian chooses not to perform the procedure, that is one thing, but government deciding how he or she should practice medicine is quite another. Wooo, you can’t dispute the bairn’s logic can you? If you decide to make a cup of tea that is one thing, but woe betide anyone advising you to use a different brand of teabag because, shock horror, that is quite another! I think I’ll nominate her statement as the most asinine of the year, waste of space? Not arf!

However, I think that the vets in cities surrounding those with declaw bans are going to see a nice increase in their business.

Oh you little madam, how smug you are, how I wish a declawed cat would demonstrate to you his/her nice little sharp fangs and how he/she now uses them instead of the claws, on the toe ends, that went away in a yellow surgical waste bag. And how I’m wishing that a declawing ban will spread right across the USA in an unstoppable tide of compassion. Sadly compassion is in short supply for some “cat parents” but there are many, many wonderful people in the USA who have devoted years of their lives to fighting the wickedness that is declawing. Thank God for them!

Baby vets like this one are dangerous, they think they know it all and unfortunately they are in a position to give clients advice that is flawed & biased, and downright dodgy if they are employed by Banfield.