Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Let's have a go at cats

This is the ultimate; we now have someone who is a personal finance consultant and who gives online loans teaching us all about cats and their claws and what gadgets to buy to punish them (for being cats?). He is very confidant of his knowledge because he starts off by saying
“If you have always wanted to know more about this topic, then get ready because we have all the information you can handle. Getting a pet is just the tip of the iceberg especially if the owner decides to keep it indoors. Before deciding on which animal to get, it is best to read up on the frequent problems that happen so one can be ready to overcome them”.
Get that? We’re talking of getting an animal, we don’t know what species yet, but we’re probably going to keep it indoors (it’s a cat!) and first and foremost we are looking for problems, we’re not learning about our chosen animal, we don’t even have a preference for a specific type of animal but we are looking for problems!
The loan shark goes on to say
“A cat is a cute furry animal that do not usually need to be given a bath like dogs” YES! Well said. “This is as cats are able to clean up themselves very well. But there is more to just giving them food or brushing their fur and these are things the owner must anticipate”. YES again.
But…. There’s always a but “Cats like dogs that have not been trained how to behave indoors can create a lot of problems. The claws of this animal can scratch and ruin the furniture.” Oh no, we’ve cut straight to the chase, we’re on the subject of claws already, and when he says cats have not been trained how to behave indoors, why is that? WHY has the cat not been trained to use the scratching post, it’s very easy and even fun to teach a kitten, all you need is time and patience and the willingness to do it rather than take a surgical short-cut.
“If the creature has not also been toilet trained, the house will smell and the owner will have to clean up after it.” This is stupid, to start with kittens learn from their mother’s to use litter trays, they observe and they copy, it is MOST unusual to get a kitten that isn’t already litter box trained. Likewise it doesn’t take long to train a puppy to do it’s business outside. The problems start when there is no litter tray provided or the tray isn’t kept clean, now that does make the house smell, but that isn’t down to the cat is it? It’s down to the laziness of the owner and in the case of puppies it’s because attention isn’t paid to establishing a routine of toileting outside at regular times and after naps, it isn’t rocket science, there is no need for anyone’s house to smell.
There are ways to solve the clawing problem. One way is declawing it when your pet is still a kitten. Since some people find this to be cruel to the animal, then one would have to buy a scratching post and teach it to scratch on the surface when the animal feels like doing it. Back to cats and back to the claws, yes go on, get them declawed, merely say some people find it cruel, don’t explain WHY they find it cruel, nor what happens during declawing, nor what the cat suffers during and after declawing, nor what can go wrong, loss of paws, limbs and lives. But wow, if one thinks declawing is cruel then one will have to go to all the trouble and expense of buying a scratching post, oh dear me, and not only that one would have to teach the cat to scratch on the surface, what a nuisance, how much easier to have the “creature” declawed and be done with it. Notice the online loan merchant advises declawing while you pet is still a kitten? Before, or rather INSTEAD of, buying a scratching post I don’t want to be boring (though I probably am) but I need to quote the AVMA again "Declawing of domestic cats should be considered only after attempts have been made to prevent the cat from using its claws destructively or when its clawing presents a zoonotic risk for its owner(s).” so what right has he to glibly condemn kittens to a lifetime of half-paws, what qualifications has he? He’s a finance consultant, that’s what!
“Since the kitten does not know what the scratching post is for, it is best to teach it by grabbing its paws and doing the motion. This will take some time to learn so one should observe that cat and practice it often”
(the grammar is his – observe that cat?)
Wrong! GRAB its paws? What is wrong with taking hold of the kittens paws gently? What is this obsession with grabbing everything? Take your time Money Man, hold the paws gently and yes, good idea make the scratching motions, it may take some time, it may not but it’s a damn site better than cleaving those toe ends off a kitten’s tiny paws!
Another product for training cats is a litter box. This is to solve the waste problem that will happen if the cat has not yet been trained on what to do should it feel the urge. These can be purchased at the local pet store and choosing one should depend on the size of the cat. Wait a minute; surely a litter box isn’t a training product? It’s a necessary purchase if you have a cat, even cats that are allowed outdoors (and of course declawed cats are NOT safe outdoors) should have a litter box for emergency use. If the litter box is merely a training aid to “solve the problem” until the cat has been trained “on what to do should it feel the urge” then what actually IS the cat supposed to do when it feels the urge? This usurer has me baffled by his reasoning because he states a couple of times that “the animal” will be indoors, yet seems to make no provision for the calls of nature other than a litter box if the cat has not been trained. Am I missing something or does he expect the cat not to crap or pee once it has been trained?
Using the litter box will take some time and practice so one should keep a close watch on the cat. Should it start behaving like it is about to do it, one should carry the cat immediately to the litter box. Another way of teaching it is picking up the waste, putting it in the box then putting the cat in the box to get used to the smell. Yawn, How’s your loan business doing then Ken? Bit quiet is it at the moment, huh?
Cats like other animals need time to exercise. To prevent this animal from ruining the house, one should buy toys such as a stuffed animal or a ball for the animal to play with. Hah! Totally biased, the “animal” is going to ruin your house, this is almost like a subliminal message, every now and then he pops it in that the house will be ruined, the house will smell, “one” will have problems, oh what a pessimist this money man is! But isn’t it good news that buying a stuffed animal or a ball will prevent the animal ruining the house…where then is the need for declawing pray?
We now learn about "training aids"
“There are many varieties of cat training products available on the market which can be found in the local pet store or online. The person has to know what is needed in order to make the pet good for the indoors. (His grammar again)
Here are some of the cat training devices that can magically transform a misbehaved pet to an obedient one:” (or an incredibly nervous one seeing that after the first device they are all doing something physically nasty to the cat)
1. "The Potty-Cat"
This quirky and cute-looking system is a magic of sorts as it has everything - a handy manual and the device that can train the cat without him knowing about it! No more foul litter, just a smart-aleck of a cat! Incredible and true!
This looks to be a litter box with a toilet seat built in – ye gads! But no more FOUL LITTER (which by the way is part of choosing to share your life with a cat) I suppose this answers my earlier question.
2. "Pet Agree Training Device"
What does it do? Its ultrasonic system emits sounds that can easily catch the pet's attention. With its built-in verbal orders, the cat is trained in an instant!
This is a hand held device that emits a high frequency sound; you point it at the pet when it offends you and scare the poor bloody thing half to death with the high-pitched noise.
Because it combines the power of an aerosol can and a motion detector, the SSSCAT emits sound and the spray that can shoo the cat away from places where it is prohibited.
This damned thing detects when a cat is approaching somewhere “verboten” (don’t mention the war) and blasts it with a spray of “harmless” non-toxic gas to frighten it out of its wits.
4. "Electrostatic Pet Scat Mat"
The name sounds ominous but the "Electronic Pet Scat Mat" is pretty harmless. But that doesn't mean it is ineffective. The electrical pulse and the static electricity can keep the pet cat from messing around the sofas, windows and front yards.
My blood pressure is rising now, this horrible (PRETTY harmless) invention uses electrical impulses similar to static electricity. Have you ever brushed your hand down nylon clothes and got a static electricity shock? Or combed your hair, or got hold of the car door handle on a hot day and got a nasty tingle in your hand? Well bear in mind that you know what has caused it, just imagine a cat or a dog getting this shock….actually I really don’t want to imagine it. You can get these electrocution strips in sizes for sofas, worktops, cars or windowsills (where is the cat going to sit to try and get a glimpse of the great outdoors? Not on the windowsill apparently. This loan shark is getting on my nerves big time now.
5. "Pet Boundary Indoor Pet Barrier System"
It keeps the cat away as it makes its own "unwanted zone" that can be as far as ten feet. The owner just has to place the transmitter to the collar and voila.
It gets worse this has a tag that the unfortunate and seemingly barely tolerated pet has to wear on it’s collar (I hate collars) you then place the base unit in the forbidden area, and if the poor bloody unsuspecting cat tries to enter the no-go area then the damn thing emits a tone at a frequency that will only hurt the animals ears and not the precious human ones! In fact it happily recommend it because it “Helps teach pets not to jump up on forbidden furniture, raid the garbage, chew on houseplants, eat other pets’ food or litter, snuggle up in baby’s bed, or be in a place you don’t want them to be!”
Excuse me, can this not be done in a more kindly manner? We have never resorted to blasting our cats hearing to Kingdom Come to get the message over, KINDNESS Ken, kind-ness, you ought to try it sonny instead of recommending all these instruments of remote punishment. And hey, if the cat eats the other pet’s food or uses his litter is that SUCH a crime? Remembering the fact that you brought the cat into your home by your own free choice. No one forced you.
6. "Scarecrow Water Spraying Animal Repeller"
Introducing the Scarecrow Water Spraying Animal Repeller which goes to water-spraying when it notices an intruder aka the pet cat.
Well this stupid thing is obviously for outdoor use as it blasts the animal with water up to a 35 foot range, it actually says “Try the Scarecrow, a device that blasts animals with a blast of water when they approach.” So this is for when the inmate is allowed parole but must not put a paw in the wrong place outside either.
7. "Tattle Tale Vibration Alarm Pet Trainer"
Pets keep out! That's what this device intends to warn the pet cats. Advanced as it is with the structural vibration technology, the Tattle Tale is so sensitive it detects vibration right away even if there is no apparent movement.
This is recommended for cats, dogs and to keep the kids off the cookie jar, you stick it on the priceless, irreplaceable object and it senses vibration when approached and gives off a dual purpose shriek, one to startle the cat, dog or cookie-snitcher, two to alert the storm troopers, sorry I mean the owner/parent.
8. "Cat Stop! Ultrasonic"
Gardens and front yards will no longer welcome the cats, because of its high-quality motion sensor.
This is another outdoor thing, more high frequency noise, to stop other people cats using the garden, obviously his own cat’s parole licence has been revoked and it’s now back in it’s cell.

Cat training devices abound, the cat lover will never run out of alternatives on how to keep his cat from getting litter-crazy.
Cat LOVER???????????????????????
Would any of you lovely people who follow my blog use these electrical impulses and screeching devices on your cats? I can’t imagine anyone who loves and respects their cat resorting to such intrusive and horrible devices instead of taking the time to kindly train the cat, of course it’s so much easier to zap him with static, might get a laugh or two out of it as well eh Mr Money Lender?

Here’s his credentials folks
About the Author:
Ken Charnely is webmaster at one of Internet popular article directories. For more articles on this topic visit He is also a personal finance consultant. Catch him at Online Loans - Apply for Loans Online
And here is the nitty gritty, if you need extra cash to pay for declawing your tiny kitten or to purchase one of these instruments of torture…. Just contact Ken and he’ll lend you the money.
Author: Ken Charnely
Blogger Babz and a damn well disgusted Babz at that, what a load of biased, cold, cruel, anti-cat baloney.