Oh yeah? Really? Sez who? Oh the two muttonheads who’s clinic it is.
The Benefits Of The CO2 Laser Feline Declaw
Which then goes on to offer
SAVE $100.00 during September 2009 and FREE Pre-surgical Examinations Call us today on xxxxxx (haha, I'm not daft enough to include the contact number, no way Hosé)
“Cat's scratching is a normal behavior that not only helps shed dead nails; it also provides feline communication by depositing scent from glands between their toes on to the scratched object.” Yup, I agree with that, they’ll get no argument from me. Except I’d have called them claws which is what they are, not nails (maybe they think we laymen wouldn’t understand such a difficult word as claw) or am I being pedantic?
Ah, but then they have spoil it by adding
“While natural to the cat, we at xxxxxxx understand when behavior modification (ex: scratching posts, nail trimming, catnip, etc.) has not been effective in deterring your feline friend from using its claws inappropriately and offer Laser Declawing.”
Your feline friend? Don’t make me larf. If it’s natural behaviour then that should be the end of it, never mind jumping in there and offering laser declawing… “Oh please let us help you by crippling your cat. We’ll even knock $100.00 off the price”
“Onychectomy (or more commonly called "declawing") is the term given to the surgery involving the permanent removal of the distal portion of the claw. Declawing is completed under general anesthesia. After the distal extremity of each front nail is removed, the paws are usually bandaged”.The distal portion of the claw?? The distal extremity of each FRONT NAIL??? What the hell are they on about? Extremeties of each bloody front TOE is more like, (who has written this anyway? The cleaner? Was she inebriated at the time?)
Using the CO2 laser instead of a scalpel provides surgery with a significant decrease in post-operative pain and swelling. Significant DECREASE of pain and swelling, they're both still there then? The laser cauterizes blood vessels as it cuts and sears the nerve endings, so these are the nerve endings in the extremities of the front nail which , if you remember, is what the inebriate cleaner wrote earlier, this allows our doctors to perform surgery without the use of a tourniquet and no postoperative bandaging is required. Back to the bandages, God they’re obsessed with *bloody bandages (*Freudian slip) Combining laser technology with local nerve blocks (localized pain medication), pre and post-operative pain medication your precious feline is back to normal activities much sooner than traditional surgery with a scalpel would allow. (What? Like, never, do you mean?) Call our office for more details. Like hell I will!
Now, this next bit is quite exceptional, so proud are they of themselves that they invite an audience
You may stay with your pet when he/she is premedicated and wait while the sedation takes effect
You may watch the laser surgery procedure
You may sit with your loved one after the procedure during recovery
If you would like to have this unique experience with your pet, please tell our Doctors during your presurgical visit. Call today to schedule an appointment.
They are certainly offering a unique experience, at least ten chances to watch this butchery and maybe it’s a good thing because sitting with your "precious pet" and sharing it’s unique (for unique read inhumane, unnecessary, cruel, mutilating, crippling, etc, etc ) experience during declawing and post op pain and confusion could be the very thing that sickens the moron who has subjected his/her cat to declawing. But even so it’s too late for their precious pet isn’t it?
On their authorisation for anaesthesia/surgery form they make a huge point of asking for 50% deposit up front. Do you think this is possibly because when the owners see what is being done to their “precious friends” during the “unique experience” they are sharing they’ll pick the cat up and run a mile! Maybe.
Anyway, if not, when the precious pet has had the “extremities of each front nail” hacked off and the owner has shared the unique experience, they can take their dear friend home the next day and their children can safely do, without fear of reprisal, what the brat in the picture at the top is doing. Manhandle the cat!
My case, as they say, is rested.
I wish a plague of pustulating poxes on declawers.